The Ultimate Guide to House Plants That Won't Die (Or Poison Your Cat)
Share
So, you've fallen head-over-leaves for house plants. Who can blame you? They’re green, they’re (mostly) low-maintenance, and they make you feel like a responsible adult every time you remember to water them. But if you've ever experienced the heartbreak of a dead succulent or an accidental cat-poisoning scare, you're not alone.
Here’s a guide to the best, easiest, and safest indoor house plants, with a few laughs along the way. Because let’s be honest—plants are meant to make our lives calmer and greener, not more stressful.
1. Snake Plant
Also Known As: Mother-In-Law’s Tongue (No offense to your actual MIL).
Why You Need It: Snake plants are like that chill friend who doesn't mind if you ghost them for weeks. They’ll thrive on neglect, grow tall, and add a little drama with those long, spiky leaves. Bonus: they’re NASA-approved for air purification.
Care Level: Minimal effort. Just stick it in a low-light corner and water it when you remember (but don’t drown it; snake plants are more of a “sip” than a “gulp” kind of plant).
Cat-Safe? Sorry, no! If you’ve got a curious kitty, skip this one or keep it well out of reach.
2. Spider Plant
AKA: The Plant That Keeps Making Babies
Why You Need It: Spider plants are basically the house plant version of that friend who can’t stop setting you up with dates. They shoot off “spiderettes” (tiny baby plants) that you can propagate into new plants for free. They’re resilient, low-maintenance, and won’t yell if you forget to water them for a week.
Care Level: Easy peasy. They like indirect light and a splash of water when their soil’s dry. Basically, treat them like that friend who only texts you back on weekends.
Cat-Safe? YES! Finally, something both you and your fur baby can enjoy.
3. Pothos (Devil's Ivy)
Also Known As: The “I Only Have One Leaf Left, But I’m Still Kicking” Plant.
Why You Need It: Pothos is the Beyoncé of house plants: stunning, adaptable, and just plain cool. It’s the go-to plant for anyone who wants a bit of drama in their space (those long, trailing vines!) without the responsibility. If you have a windowsill, a bookshelf, or an empty corner in need of green, pothos has got you covered.
Care Level: Beginner-level. It’ll thrive in low to bright light and doesn’t mind a dry spell now and then. If it starts looking a little tired, give it some water, and it'll bounce back like nothing ever happened.
Cat-Safe? Not really. Pothos isn’t ideal for pet-filled homes, so place it high up if you do indulge in this one.
4. Boston Fern
The Fancy, Frilly One Who Loves to Show Off
Why You Need It: Boston ferns are the instant-boho-glam plant you’ve been dreaming of. Those lush, feathery leaves add texture to any space, and it’s basically begging to be placed on a plant stand or hanging from the ceiling.
Care Level: Medium. Ferns like humidity (they’re basically the plant version of a spa junkie) and need regular misting, especially in dry weather. Water them a bit more frequently, and don’t let them turn into a crispy mess.
Cat-Safe? YES! So go wild—your cat can play in its fronds, guilt-free.
5. Calathea
AKA: The Drama Queen of Your Indoor Jungle
Why You Need It: Calatheas are drop-dead gorgeous, with leaves that look like they belong in a gallery. They’re known for their “prayer” movements, folding up at night and reopening in the morning. But be warned: Calatheas are high-maintenance. If you can handle a plant that’s a little extra, this one’s for you.
Care Level: Challenging. They’re picky about humidity and don’t love tap water (filtered water is their diva demand). They thrive in bright, indirect light and prefer moist soil.
Cat-Safe? Absolutely! This one can share a home with your feline friends.
6. ZZ Plant
AKA: The “Forget About It” Plant
Why You Need It: This plant can practically survive the apocalypse (or just your overworked, mildly forgetful lifestyle). ZZ plants are super low-maintenance, with glossy leaves that make any corner look more polished.
Care Level: Beginner. ZZ plants do well in low light, indirect light, and even direct light if you can be consistent with water. They prefer a good drought over being overwatered, so err on the side of neglect.
Cat-Safe? Nope. This is a “hands-off for pets” plant, so keep it on a shelf or in an office where your kitty can’t reach it.
7. Parlor Palm
Perfect for: People Who Want to Feel Fancy AF Without the Fuss
Why You Need It: This Victorian-era favorite adds a touch of elegance with those dainty, palm-like fronds. It’s a low-maintenance plant that will grow steadily without needing constant attention.
Care Level: Easy. It can survive on indirect light and only needs water every couple of weeks, making it ideal for those of us who tend to “forget” about our plants for days.
Cat-Safe? YES! So, bring home this green beauty with peace of mind.
Where to Buy the Best House Plants Online
You could go on a road trip to hunt down your perfect plant baby, but honestly, it’s 2024. Grab a coffee, pop online, and get your plants delivered. Many of these nurseries specialize in cat-safe, easy-care house plants that even a “beginner plant mom” can handle.
- The Sill – This shop has every house plant you can imagine and offers a “pet-friendly plants” category.
- Bloomscape – They deliver full-grown plants in adorable pots, so you get instant decor.
- Plants.com – Check out their beginner and pet-friendly sections for curated options.
- House Plant Shop – They have subscription boxes, so you can level up your plant game one month at a time.
A Few Extra Plant Mom Tips:
- Rotate your plants: Just like us, they want to show their best side to the sun.
- Know when to water: A simple finger test (stick it in the soil) can tell you if it’s time for a drink.
- Give them a “spa day”: A gentle shower in the sink or a misting every so often will make them feel fancy.
House plants should be fun, not stressful! So go ahead—turn your home into a lush, green paradise that’s 100% you. Just remember to keep the toxic ones out of Fluffy’s reach! Happy planting! 🌱